Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
