as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
