They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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