Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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