yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He passed out mid-signature
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
