My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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