Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
