She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
