never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
