She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
