Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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