I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
