there's paper in my vomit.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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