My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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