Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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