Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
