Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
