He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
