The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
