I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
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