Little spoons don't ask big questions
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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