mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
