It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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