dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
