dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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