she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
