All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
