guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
