Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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