just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize