New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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