I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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