that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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