Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
