i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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