Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
