do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Randomize
