these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
