i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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