I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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