I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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