carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
