Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
no, he came in my armpit
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
