he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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