I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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