guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
