Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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