Joe is yelling at the trees again.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
