Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
