I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize