Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
