GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Randomize
