and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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