And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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