I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
There's even glitter on my cock...
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