I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
