Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I have fence marks all over my body
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
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