do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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