I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
