All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
