I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
