Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
