I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
