wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize