We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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