dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
