I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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