I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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