Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
