Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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