Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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