i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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