I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize